Someone, some day loosely defined dating as the act of meeting a bunch of people until you find the one that is perfect for you. Over the years the game has changed pretty much and there is no single person that can know all the rules and regulations involved in going on a date and what should or should not happen afterwards.
I use the word ‘rules’ very lightly as there are really no set guidelines, formulas or tricks to entrap the potential love of your life. Recent studies have shown that the average woman gets married at 27 compared to the 70’s where the average women got married at the age of 20 so surely something has changed.
Yes! The way your parents used to go about it differs from how you might go about it in this year of 2016. With ever-changing social conventions and new technology there are really no set rules anymore when it comes to dating but a few tips has stood the test of time and still guarantees a successful and smooth dating-experience.
- Be prepared
So you have decided to get on up and into the daunting dating game. But, are you really prepared? Dating command that some effort be put into the whole experience. You need to know what it is that you want to achieve by going on dates and if you are ready for the commitment that might come after the date(s) being a success. You also need to be able to handle the rejection and move on (very fast) if everything doesn’t turn out too peachy. There is an ocean full of sea-creatures, you don’t have to settle for the first snoek that bites your hook.
- First impressions still lasts
It doesn’t matter where you are going for your date, make sure that you look and smell (and taste, because you never know what else is served after dessert) good. You might not think so and it might sound a bit vain but in this scenario appearance is everything. Make sure that you dress appropriately, that your hair is tidy and that you smell great. By putting a little effort into what you are going to wear, maybe a manicure and a fresh new fragrance, you automatically feel good and more confident and your date will appreciate said effort.
- Communication is key
Studies have shown that it takes a mere 15 minutes to decide if there is chemistry between you and your date. Don’t put yourself in an awkward and uncomfortable position by talking about things you know 0% of to try and impress your date. Things such as what you do for a living, your hobbies and mentioning something funny is great conversation-starters. One blogger, Bobbi Palmer says about females, ”I have a technique you can use to help you confidently express the deeper, softer you and draw in the right man in a big way. At the same time it helps you get to know and love yourself! It’s a bit of a trick. I call it ‘Getting to the BECAUSE.’ Because statements look like this: “I’m a hair dresser and I love it BECAUSE I get to be my own boss and be creative, I love helping people feel and look beautiful, and many of my customers end up being my lifelong friends.”
- Social Media
This is one of the main mediums that has changed the dating game. Because everything is so open and exposed when it comes to social media, be sure to talk about and share your thoughts on it when it comes to relationships. You might want to IG a picture of you with your date while your date hates being exposed in such a personal way. So before you check in on Facebook, make sure that you get your dates’ permission to tag them.
- What happens afterwards?
It is OK to follow up after your date. How long after, you ask? Totally dependent on you! In this digital era with its vast platforms of communication there is absolutely no way that you won’t see a status update, tweet, get a DM, WhatsApp or even a phone call relating to how good the date was. Also, don’t make yourself too available. On the other hand if there is no form of contact, an appropriate turnaround-time would be ± 48 hours. Sad to say, but this would probably mean that someone is not interested. Move on!
From men to women...
- Don’t harass us
Regardless of the fact that the date went well or not, don’t send us 10 million texts after I drop you off at home and then call me if I don’t reply. Give me time to think, breathe and then get back to you. – Brian, 25
- Commitment issues
Talks about weddings, babies and how we are going to grow old together scares the hell out of me. Sure, I do want it but do we really have to talk long-term goals a month after seeing each other? I will run away so very fast, Felicia. – Jawaad, 29
- It’s OK to do something by yourself
Men love doing their own thing and it is totally cool for women to do the same. You don’t need to check in every single time you are going out with your girls or spend quality time with your sister. Sisters need to do it for themselves sometimes. – Ti, 30
From women to men...
- Don’t be indecisive
If I am telling you that I can’t decide, I am indirectly telling you that I trust you enough to make the decision. Don’t bore me with options or more questions. Make the decision! – Miranda, 25
- Don’t talk about your ex or your mother
Leave your ex in the past and your mother at home. You are here to try and get to know ME! – Jade, 25
Dating websites are becoming increasingly popular and with these set of ‘rules’ you have nothing to lose. MisterCompare.co.za offers the best dating websites in South Africa and you are sure to find your soulmate by joining one of them.
- Enzo Leigh Botes